what a shocker. she's not sure what she feels about hearing that. disappointment? an ah, i knew it kind of revelation? of course he wouldn't tell her. she wouldn't have told him, probably, maybe. and she's familiar enough with the concept with muzét, though that situation was... wholly different.
yet there's still a small sink in her chest at the words, prepared as she was for the response--but there's also a small bit of relief there, too, that he's admitted that at least. friends. they were friends. she's not sure if "friends" meant she had to drag him here to talk, ask him questions and make him do it, or if he was supposed to do that on his own-- but he's talking, and that's progress.
she leans back in her chair. the words she'd typed, erased previously come to the front of her mind, and with only a pause she lets them out. ]
You really are an idiot, aren't you.
[ it doesn't hold the weight of an insult, but she says it as a truth nonetheless. it wouldn't be the first bad decision this month. he hasn't been okay. but he's mentioned nothing.
and milla's sitting here ( this entire mess of emotions feeling familiar ) pretending she knows how to deal with it... which she doesn't. she wasn't sure how to handle helplessness then, she's not sure how to handle it and the emotions it brings now, and she's not sure what to tell sousei about it.
he's troublesome. he's aggravating. frustrating, worrying, in a way that makes her wonder why she ever agreed to be his friend.
( she knows, of course. the number of times he's been there for her. when he told her not to apologize for the life she lived. she's his friend because he's somehow capable and incapable of taking care of himself, yet he still supports others. ) ]
... If you ignore it, it doesn't go away. [ she knows. a moment of uncharacteristic hesitation, and then: ] I said you could depend on me if you needed it. If you won't, I'll make it a note that I'm going to have to force you to.
[ she'll do this again. she hopes she won't need to, but sousei needs to talk. she's not the best person for it, she's more than aware of that, but he's the one that told her that talking might help, back when she admitted what her fate was.
troublesome. aggravating. frustrating. it's her luck that one of her first friends would be a headache like this. ]
no subject
what a shocker. she's not sure what she feels about hearing that. disappointment? an ah, i knew it kind of revelation? of course he wouldn't tell her. she wouldn't have told him, probably, maybe. and she's familiar enough with the concept with muzét, though that situation was... wholly different.
yet there's still a small sink in her chest at the words, prepared as she was for the response--but there's also a small bit of relief there, too, that he's admitted that at least. friends. they were friends. she's not sure if "friends" meant she had to drag him here to talk, ask him questions and make him do it, or if he was supposed to do that on his own-- but he's talking, and that's progress.
she leans back in her chair. the words she'd typed, erased previously come to the front of her mind, and with only a pause she lets them out. ]
You really are an idiot, aren't you.
[ it doesn't hold the weight of an insult, but she says it as a truth nonetheless. it wouldn't be the first bad decision this month. he hasn't been okay. but he's mentioned nothing.
and milla's sitting here ( this entire mess of emotions feeling familiar ) pretending she knows how to deal with it... which she doesn't. she wasn't sure how to handle helplessness then, she's not sure how to handle it and the emotions it brings now, and she's not sure what to tell sousei about it.
he's troublesome. he's aggravating. frustrating, worrying, in a way that makes her wonder why she ever agreed to be his friend.
( she knows, of course. the number of times he's been there for her. when he told her not to apologize for the life she lived. she's his friend because he's somehow capable and incapable of taking care of himself, yet he still supports others. ) ]
... If you ignore it, it doesn't go away. [ she knows. a moment of uncharacteristic hesitation, and then: ] I said you could depend on me if you needed it. If you won't, I'll make it a note that I'm going to have to force you to.
[ she'll do this again. she hopes she won't need to, but sousei needs to talk. she's not the best person for it, she's more than aware of that, but he's the one that told her that talking might help, back when she admitted what her fate was.
troublesome. aggravating. frustrating. it's her luck that one of her first friends would be a headache like this. ]