Is Sousei mad at him too? Tenka wouldn't blame him. More than anything else, Tenka knows that he's not one to dictate another person's feelings or actions. Tenka has always been strikingly independent, someone that would do what they pleased always - but by asking Sousei to not hurt Shirasu before and having Sousei agree, it's restricting his partner's freedom.
And when Sousei admits that he thought of them as his parents too, Tenka's face crumples and it feels like his heart's being crushed. Sousei never said that - he never called Taiko 'Father' but always 'Sensei'. But he remembers Dadpatting Sousei's head or picking him up so easily and he remembers Mom chastising Sousei just the same as she did Tenka - with firmness and so much love it was suffocating.
It's why Tenka was so angry at Shirasu. Tenka's never felt fury on his own behalf but it wasn't only his childhood that was taken from him. Soramaru, Chuutarou, Sousei, and Kiiko - they all suffered too.
But Sousei and Kiiko had moved on separately from Tenka. He never had a chance to take care of them and never did, knowing that he could never give them the same sense of direction that leading the Yamainu would. Yet as he's sitting here, watching his partner struggle and become overcome with emotions, he refuses to be motionless for long.
So even though he was shaken off earlier, he's determined now as he wraps his arms around Sousei and pulls him into a hug, as if that'd hold the broken pieces of his partner's composure together.]
I know.
[He struggles for words, not sure what to say. He couldn't even comfort himself, how could he manage to help Sousei?]
They loved you.
[Tenka shuts his eyes as his fingers cling onto the fabric of Sousei's clothes. Don't shake him off again, partner.]
I'm sorry.
[For letting their murderer into his house and then into his heart. For never telling Sousei for years and then telling him all at once. For everything that was his fault and then some.
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Is Sousei mad at him too? Tenka wouldn't blame him. More than anything else, Tenka knows that he's not one to dictate another person's feelings or actions. Tenka has always been strikingly independent, someone that would do what they pleased always - but by asking Sousei to not hurt Shirasu before and having Sousei agree, it's restricting his partner's freedom.
And when Sousei admits that he thought of them as his parents too, Tenka's face crumples and it feels like his heart's being crushed. Sousei never said that - he never called Taiko 'Father' but always 'Sensei'. But he remembers Dadpatting Sousei's head or picking him up so easily and he remembers Mom chastising Sousei just the same as she did Tenka - with firmness and so much love it was suffocating.
It's why Tenka was so angry at Shirasu. Tenka's never felt fury on his own behalf but it wasn't only his childhood that was taken from him. Soramaru, Chuutarou, Sousei, and Kiiko - they all suffered too.
But Sousei and Kiiko had moved on separately from Tenka. He never had a chance to take care of them and never did, knowing that he could never give them the same sense of direction that leading the Yamainu would. Yet as he's sitting here, watching his partner struggle and become overcome with emotions, he refuses to be motionless for long.
So even though he was shaken off earlier, he's determined now as he wraps his arms around Sousei and pulls him into a hug, as if that'd hold the broken pieces of his partner's composure together.]
I know.
[He struggles for words, not sure what to say. He couldn't even comfort himself, how could he manage to help Sousei?]
They loved you.
[Tenka shuts his eyes as his fingers cling onto the fabric of Sousei's clothes. Don't shake him off again, partner.]
I'm sorry.
[For letting their murderer into his house and then into his heart. For never telling Sousei for years and then telling him all at once. For everything that was his fault and then some.
He's sorry for everything.]