deontology: (XX.)
Abe no "screw the rules" Sousei [ 安部 蒼世 ] ([personal profile] deontology) wrote2014-10-09 11:04 am
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This is Abe no Sousei. Leave your request promptly.

Thank you.

[ voice | video | text | action ]
souperb: (pic#8531077)

text.

[personal profile] souperb 2015-07-07 06:54 pm (UTC)(link)
[ hello sousei, how are you, how are you feeling, how's the weather, is tenka still missing, have you been eating right, something something i just had an x-ray-- ]

you went on one of those tours
didnt you


[ --ah, no, nevermind. straight to the point, she knows how he is, answer the question. ]
souperb: (Default)

1/2

[personal profile] souperb 2015-07-08 12:47 am (UTC)(link)
[ got him, coach. ]

thats not why im asking

[ well. kind of, it is. but if he did find something of use, she's sure he'd-- tell her, maybe, or at the very least do something of use with that information. so that's not the concern.

the concern is him running into something on ceres's terms, though really this entire place is run on ceres's terms, and the first thing on her mind is: ]


were you hur|
souperb: (pic#8531079)

[personal profile] souperb 2015-07-08 12:49 am (UTC)(link)
[ shit she cares but not that much.

backspace backspace backspace. he's probably fine, he's totally super fine. he's texting her, after all. ]


no, it is why i'm asking.
figures they wouldn't leave anything important laying around.


[ hello socializing god, it's me milla.

i still need you. ]


mind telling me what happened?
souperb: (pic#8855505)

[personal profile] souperb 2015-07-08 01:12 am (UTC)(link)
[ .... the part of her saying she's overreacting, that it's okay melts away very suddenly. because of course, this is ceres, of course, and they've never acted like someone wouldn't get hurt.

she's also a bit (very) upset at herself that she had absolutely no idea this was happening. anger, disappointment, some bit of fear. what a splendid combination.

she doesn't even know what to say, her fingers freezing over the screen for a second. this isn't a glitch, or some kind of "hehe mistake". this was, perhaps, ceres showing just how messed up she figured they were. ]




are you all right

[ that feels like the dumbest question she's ever asked. ]
souperb: (pic#8653270)

[personal profile] souperb 2015-07-08 01:46 am (UTC)(link)
[ ... she realizes something at that point, maybe. she'd had a habit of being overly dependent, in some ways--leaning on muzét, leaning on elle, leaning on sousei. sousei was absolutely a human worthy of her respect, and his inner fortitude left her almost jealous at times. how he could look forward without faltering, how he could take things as they were and continue without any fumbling, how he knew what to say. all of it was just very unlike her.

and she feels stupid, because he's as human as the rest of them.

he doesn't say he's all right. that's absolutely all she needs. ]


youre an idiot|

[ no. well, he is--so is she. they're idiots who don't know how to handle things in an okay way. bottle things up for later. even when their pillars were gone and they're off doing things that they really shouldn't.

she erases that, slowly. thinks about what to say.

comes up with nothing. ]


come over

[ you need to talk. but it's not just as simple as talking, because that kind of thing is hard. she's a hypocrite, telling him that. ]

if you can
what do you want to eat
souperb: (pic#8653232)

[personal profile] souperb 2015-07-08 02:49 am (UTC)(link)
[ does she....

she wouldn't tell him about the fact she's searched up recipes. the surprising familiarity she's had with some dishes, others... not so much, but she's tried. there's been failures and successes and-- some things in between, one dish she's unsure about sitting in the fridge as it soaks up flavor. to be honest, she's a little unsure about it, mostly because she's never tried it.

but all she really needs to do is heat it up. it's a stew, and this isn't about distracting herself with ingredients and cutting boards and. everything. she doesn't know if it's what he's used to, but it's japanese. it-- doesn't have chicken in it. it has fish. and it is served alongside rice... she thinks. isn't that what he said he was used to?

mainly, this is all to push down that front of i'm fine.

so, she types the easiest thing she's typed in this entire conversation: ]


i have some oden i was preparing.
and some karashi that its apparently supposed to be served with. no wasabi. how's that?


[ milla honestly has no idea if karashi falls under "flavor he does not like" like wasabi does, but. she'll make something else if that's the case, or if he's not familiar with this.

this is all so they can both stop being idiots.

fine. ]
souperb: (pic#8738552)

[personal profile] souperb 2015-07-08 03:29 am (UTC)(link)
don't be late.

[ so, it's fine.

well, no, she doesn't know that yet. theoretically it's fine. but that's something, so she gets to preparing the rice and getting out the clay pot from the fridge, opening the lid as she places it on the stove. konnyaku, fish cakes, fish balls, bean curd, carrot, daikon, dried seaweed--there's so much in there that she has no idea how this is going to turn out, but it's fine.

it isn't like she'd been particularly preparing this for him (though, in some ways, she had--because he's the one that put the idea into her head that she should get familiar with japanese food, and in some ways he's the reason that she continued doing so), but now she is.

milla keeps busy as she waits, and when sousei makes it to her door, she'll open it after remembering to hide that cookbook on japanese food she'd left laying on the table. ]
souperb: (pic#8531077)

[personal profile] souperb 2015-07-08 04:17 am (UTC)(link)
[ sousei is as sousei as always.

it's... not surprising, really, that even though she knows he's not doing well he still very much acts like he is, and if she didn't have that nagging her in the back of her head she'd think this was just him coming over as he always had, lightheartedly (also, she's relieved he didn't show up missing an arm).

but at least they're still well enough to be awkward and. polite, in his case. she reminds herself what the point of this is.

when did she become a do-gooder? ]


... Hey.

[ yep. conversation is indeed still hard. ]

Sit down. It'll be done soon.
souperb: (pic#8732949)

[personal profile] souperb 2015-07-08 05:40 am (UTC)(link)
[ there's no need to linger in the kitchen when all she's making is rice and reheating the stew, so she takes her spot beside him, still unsure how to go about this. the conversation moves back to the tour and she's grateful, in a way, that she won't have to fumble with her uncertainty in bringing that back up--but it also means she's left to think about the fact that she wasn't there, she had no idea, and sousei's worse off than she thought.

and she should think about that, so maybe there's nothing bad in this after all. besides the obvious. ]


One that I thought you would've made. [ ... ] In the end, it was probably just luck.

[ she admits. though the more appropriate thing is, perhaps, hoped he would've made. she can't be surprised that he didn't, because he's sousei. and maybe if they weren't under new management she would've come along. yet there was new, she finds herself wishing maybe they were back under vincere (lesser of two evils), instead of some granny who (very luckily) dangled a very dangerous offer in front of her and made it very apparent that she knew way more than she should. and so she didn't go.

she trusts ceres even less now.

milla's gaze falls to the table. ]


... But that also meant I wasn't able to help.

[ that she had no idea about what sousei went through. ]
souperb: (pic#8855505)

[personal profile] souperb 2015-07-08 07:33 am (UTC)(link)
[ the correct decision. and so, sousei thinks he's made the wrong one, and he's admitting that quite clearly. hindsight is 20/20.

the inevitability in his words isn't an easy thing to hear. nothing they could do, more people just meant more being helpless. sousei himself was helpless, and she can only imagine how that must've-- how that must still feel for him. they were all helpless, really, at the moment--very little knowledge, very little... of a lot of things, so perhaps it was silly of her to think that she may have been able to help somehow.

at least ceres is being clear with how they are now.

but it also makes things clearer for her. that they can't make mistakes, they can't leave things to deal with later, in a way that harms them later. that they can't just deal with this entire thing alone. ]


... That's not something that's easy to live through. [ that's putting it lightly. she knows her fair share of helplessness. hanging above a pit, onto a lifeline that meant someone she cared about getting hurt, being completely unable to do anything. absolutely no other choice but to die, in the end, when she made her way to the prime dimension... but even then, that wasn't quite the same. a maze, as lab rats. being unable to do anything. in the end, finding nothing of use. she thinks that might be worse.

looking clearly at sousei then, she talks again. ]


If I hadn't asked, would you have told me anything?
souperb: (pic#8627189)

[personal profile] souperb 2015-07-09 09:13 pm (UTC)(link)
[ no, i wouldn't have.

what a shocker. she's not sure what she feels about hearing that. disappointment? an ah, i knew it kind of revelation? of course he wouldn't tell her. she wouldn't have told him, probably, maybe. and she's familiar enough with the concept with muzét, though that situation was... wholly different.

yet there's still a small sink in her chest at the words, prepared as she was for the response--but there's also a small bit of relief there, too, that he's admitted that at least. friends. they were friends. she's not sure if "friends" meant she had to drag him here to talk, ask him questions and make him do it, or if he was supposed to do that on his own-- but he's talking, and that's progress.

she leans back in her chair. the words she'd typed, erased previously come to the front of her mind, and with only a pause she lets them out. ]


You really are an idiot, aren't you.

[ it doesn't hold the weight of an insult, but she says it as a truth nonetheless. it wouldn't be the first bad decision this month. he hasn't been okay. but he's mentioned nothing.

and milla's sitting here ( this entire mess of emotions feeling familiar ) pretending she knows how to deal with it... which she doesn't. she wasn't sure how to handle helplessness then, she's not sure how to handle it and the emotions it brings now, and she's not sure what to tell sousei about it.

he's troublesome. he's aggravating. frustrating, worrying, in a way that makes her wonder why she ever agreed to be his friend.

( she knows, of course. the number of times he's been there for her. when he told her not to apologize for the life she lived. she's his friend because he's somehow capable and incapable of taking care of himself, yet he still supports others. ) ]


... If you ignore it, it doesn't go away. [ she knows. a moment of uncharacteristic hesitation, and then: ] I said you could depend on me if you needed it. If you won't, I'll make it a note that I'm going to have to force you to.

[ she'll do this again. she hopes she won't need to, but sousei needs to talk. she's not the best person for it, she's more than aware of that, but he's the one that told her that talking might help, back when she admitted what her fate was.

troublesome. aggravating. frustrating. it's her luck that one of her first friends would be a headache like this. ]
souperb: (pic#8627211)

[personal profile] souperb 2015-07-15 02:08 am (UTC)(link)
[ he makes no promises, of course he doesn't. but he doesn't fight it, and she's said her intentions, and he's ( kind of ) agreed with her incredibly truthful observation. okay. there's not quite relief there, and she's still worried ( why? ), yet perhaps some of that tenseness she's feeling melts away.

she was tense?

a blink, as she realizes that. it delays her next words to him, prefaced by her gaze shifting from sousei to the side, and the rush of confidence she'd gotten from this need to have him to talk leaves her. to think she'd get this worked up over it, you'd think she was on a spyrix mission or something... ]


... Good.

[ good. though it doesn't carry the force her other words did, it's still there.

... ah, what now-- ]


I'll get the food, and you can tell me what other bad decisions you made.

[ good.

this gives her time to run off and think about what she's saying as she moves as casually as she can into the kitchen, to set the table and just... friendship.

things were so much simpler when he was just testing soup for her and she was just walking away from him in vivid while she wondered if he even had feelings. ]
souperb: (pic#8627189)

[personal profile] souperb 2015-07-27 04:38 pm (UTC)(link)
[ it's a bit until the table is set. rice, two medium bowls of oden, the karashi which was obviously the only reason sousei came, and-- some tea. milla doesn't say much (or look at much, really) until everything's done, taking her place again beside sousei as she places the cups down.

( the majority of her thoughts during that entire adventure had been something along the lines of: you were way forward, what is this?, how am i going to do something like this anyway??

why. )

she's made it this far, and the distractions are finished. the little worry she may have had about the food being acceptable is shoved aside for her frustration and confusion with herself, with sousei, with. ah, everything. ]


... There.

[ but. she's made it this far. ]

Hopefully it's not terrible.

[ whether she means the food or the things he's been up to, well, that can be debated. ]

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