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[Learned something? Has he? Tenka blinks slowly as he recalls something that he'd told Shirasu before on one of his birthdays. "It's why leaving people behind and getting left behind hurt so much I can barely breathe." It makes him stiffen slightly because does Sousei think the decision to leave the Yamainu was easy when Tenka barely even considers it a decision?

At the time, he'd never felt that that he had any other choice, but does he have the right to say that to someone that he abandoned?

To that, Tenka just chuckles quietly. It is subdued and not at all like his usual laughter, but rather a weak attempt at making things okay again, just as he adds softly.]

If you think I found any abandonment was easy, you're wrong.

[He was an idiot for making the choice to leave the Yamainu. Kiiko said it. Even as they were barely out the door, Tenka agreed.

.... But haven't they talked about it enough? Or maybe not even close. Either way, Sousei is pressing Tenka to continue on and... well, he does. He breathes and shakes his head slowly.]

And then we lived as a family. I had a girlfriend once. She broke up with me.

One of the doctors from the secret government division became my personal doctor to give me the Orochi medicine as well as suppressors to try to slow the effects. These too. [He points at the neck brace and gestures to his wrists.]

Soramaru went to school and got tired of it so Shirasu is teaching him now. Chuutarou's going to school now but his marks aren't that good - he needs to study harder.

Shirasu has been helping me find a way to separate the Orochi from the vessel, he's the only one I told about it. My brothers never even heard the word before I...

[he trails off and shrugs]

I go to fancy parties in Kyoto sometimes? They're awful. Really tiring and way too high-maintenance for me.

[It's a lot of information all at once, but ten years is a little hard to really go over once he hit all the major things, Tenka thinks. They were a great ten years as far as he's concerned, filled with laughter and only the occasional hiccup where he had a doctor's appointment or struggled with their Orochi research. And then-]

But I made the bargain with the government before I came back the first time. [Before he split up from the Yamainu.] I could keep on using the Orochi medicine if they could collect data from me and experiment on my body. Then once my mind was devoured by the cells, I'd be executed by the government and my body would be used for further research.

[That didn't happen. But that at least brings them up to speed.]

The fact that I'm alive is as weird to me as it is to you.

[He doesn't respond to that. No, he doesn't think it was an easy decision for Tenka to make--not in the least. Their confrontation was loud, and sharp, and physical, but he could see the pained expression on Tenka's face. It wasn't an easy decision. But it was still the decision he made for all of the reasons he's stated before. Sousei is willing to forgive him for it--has forgiven him for it. But that doesn't mean it's any easier to swallow the fact that, either through learning from his mistakes or because this is that much more important, he refuses to leave behind the person who started this entire problem in the first place.

Better, he thinks, to focus on the ten years he missed. After all, that's important too.

And it's easier to deal with.]

...You have spoiled Chuutarou too much. [That's his initial response to all of it. Poor marks? Should be stricter.] He is intelligent enough. If his marks are poor, he is not trying hard enough.

[That, of all things, he focuses on.

Because Chuutarou is like Tenka when he was a child. And Tenka had been brilliant too, but had never wanted to study, until his father had been stricter on him. What a weird little detail to focus on.]

You try raising a kid on your own and tell me how good he is at school! [TO BE HONEST. And in truth, Tenka lacked an interest in studies so of course that's not what he's going to focus on with his little brothers. All he wanted is for them to be good, kind people who are well-loved. He likes to think that so far, he's succeeded because his brothers are the best.]

Anyway, I try. Go to school [in really gross cross-dressing] to talk to his teachers and everything. Shirasu's the one who really gets the kids to focus and learn at home.

[Tenka's honestly the big distraction like always.

But he has no idea why Sousei is choosing to focus on this one random detail, but he doesn't mind. His mood is already lighter just thinking about times back in the shrine and his brothers. Because there's no doubt in his mind that he misses his brothers more than anything else.]

[Honestly... Sousei would at least make sure they study. (Everyone would know that to be true.) And when he thinks about how Soramaru reacted when he came by for breakfast...

Ah, but he was probably lonely then, without Tenka around.

Hm.]

...That was ten years. [A lot, and yet a little, all at once. A bunch of small stories that he will probably never hear. A lot of the day to day that he will never know of. But nonetheless...ten years right there, too.]

[ . . . and it gets Tenka to sigh. Ten years. That was ten years.

It's enough to make him rub the back of his neck, sheepish as he thinks about it. One conversation to cover the basics of ten years? Sure, there are random things that even Tenka won't mention like the first time Soramaru made his amazing fried tofu dish or the day that they found out that Shirasu should never be allowed near a stove. When Chuutarou got bullied for the first time and how Tenka got caught up catching criminals that the police lost-

But everything important and then some, he thinks.]

Satisfied?

...Yes.

[He supposes...satisfied isn't the right word. He's not content enough to be satisfied. But at the same time, Tenka explained things to him, and that's good enough. He knows more than he did. He has a faint understanding of what life was like in that ten year gap between them.

That was more than he has before.

So he supposes... "satisfied" is going to have to be close enough. But he doesn't exactly know what else to say in response to it either; it's a lot to absorb.]

Good! Because that was exhausting!

[And like a bubble that was popped, Tenka is heaving a sigh that makes it seem like he carries the burdens of the world and slumping over entirely. His posture loosens and he makes an irritated face at Sousei.]

You're a really demanding partner.

[Disappear for ten years and then ask for information and complete honestly like for real, what's your beef, man. Regardless Tenka's grabbing his tea cup and Sousei's both now, standing and heading for the kitchen, probably to get more.

Does he need to have more tea? Absolutely. Does he need to stretch his legs after sitting and being so stiff? Yeah. Does he also need a little bit of space so that he can accept that now his partner knows everything and Tenka's starting to run out of room to run and hide? ... yeah, that too.]

[Of course he's a demanding partner. He always has been, hasn't he? He should be able to make demands of Tenka, of all people.

Sousei pauses as Tenka disappears to get more tea, and then slowly releases a breath, quiet and slow. It was tense for him too. And he still has too much to consider for it to be entirely relaxed even now. But...no.

This is what's necessary, because they were apart for so long. So when Tenka walks back into the room, Sousei will be sitting there, calm and placid, and--]

You may not recognize him from his current appearance. Takeda chose to join the Yamainu when he was old enough, after we had saved his sister from rōnin.

[It was a long time ago, after all--but Tenka had been there.]

Takamine's scar came from an incident in which he gave up his sword to rescue a hostage. [...] Ashiya came to live with us in the Yamainu dormitory when we moved there.

[Not about Sousei, perhaps, but...here's some of what Tenka missed over those 10 years in the Yamainu.]

.... We couldn't take a break?

[Though admittedly it's more of a joke than anything. He settles himself back on his cushion and puts one warm cup of tea in front of Sousei as he sips at his own. Then he's considering that more seriously and thinking back. A mission where they saved a kid's sister from the ronin...?]

Ah! I remember! That loud little snot.

[And he nods in understanding, as if he himself is not also a loud little snot at sometimes. Then he tilts his head at the rest before chuckling.]

Well, at least the scar looks really cool. [To be honest.] And it's about time! Ashiya always wandered around a ton.... it's good that he found a home.

[Just his idle commentary, not really anything meaningful but... well, there's no denying he's interested. The Yamainu were his good friends when he was young and he's missed them too. Not quite as much as he's missed having his partner or Kiiko's voice of reason but definitely enough.]

[Sousei just reaches for his tea then, sipping it quietly. He's thinking back, trying to think of things that Tenka missing the Yamainu over the past ten years that would be something to bring up now. He doesn't want Tenka to think that it's an unequal thing, or that he doesn't want Tenka to know where the Yamainu is now (though, in a way, he is shrinking away from the more serious things).

It's fine. He's the only one who really dealt with those things anyway.

And so he inclines his head in a nod, sipping at his tea again. And more quietly--]

Soramaru's strength has inspired Takeda to work harder.

Your..."death" influenced Sasaki to strive for more as well.

[In the end, the Yamainu have always been very influenced by the Kumou.]

[ . . . it's enough to give him whiplash. Two sentences and he has incredibly different responses to them both. He pauses for a moment before laughing quietly.]

Isn't my little brother great?

[He has to boast. He has to. He's always been proud of both of them and to hear that Soramaru has managed to inspire another person, that's... really reassuring. Soramaru will be just fine.

But on the other hand-]

... Kiiko's gonna be really mad at me, isn't she?

[To pull this stupid dying act and... it's weird. Yeah, Sousei was bound to know first, considering the fact that they're partners but... Kiiko's always been important to Tenka too. She was the only one to look back before the Yamainu left. The break with her had never been as clean as it was between him and Sousei.

It was probably even harder on her when he died. (Or so he's choosing to think.)]

[Well...he does think Soramaru is pretty great, it's true. He's someone that Sousei has decided to take under his wing, and for that reason, of course he thinks highly of him. He's sensible and works hard, and embraced Tenka's spirit and all it stood for when they had all thought he was dead.

... So he doesn't really need to respond to that. Of course Soramaru is great.

And they'll save him. As for Kiiko....]

She will be. [A sip of his tea, calm.] I will leave it to you to apologize to her.

Of course I will. [Kiiko's always been infinitely easier to deal with than Sousei, especially when it comes to apologies and the like. But she's always been scarier than Sousei too. So-] If I don't walk out of there in an hour, come save me.

[That has to be part of the partners contract.]

[.... ... ....]

An hour and a half.

[teasip.gif]

An hour and fifteen!

[THIS IS BETRAYAL]

Fine. Sasaki can have an hour and fifteen minutes with you.

[hahahahahaha tenka you didn't get out of anything.]

Maximum! [God, he's so afraid of her sometimes. She punches even harder than Takamine when she wants, he thinks.] An hour and fifteen minutes, maximum!

And you can't even be a second late!

Don't underestimate me.

[please. He doesn't have to be afraid of Kiiko, he has her faith and support and general protection.]

I wouldn't be late to something we agreed upon.

Yeah, yeah, Captain Serious. I better still have all my fingers by the time you come in or else I'll have a lot more to complain about.

[To be honest. ... but well, it's good to hear that regardless, Kiiko will be okay. The rest of the Yamainu are old now so he figures that they're fine. Shi and Inukai seem to be the same as Tenka remembers them.

But alright, they made their way down the list. Now to the part that Tenka feels like Sousei is either avoiding or actually... forgetting to even consider...]

What have your ten years looked like?

[He sure as hell hopes that they've been easier than his own, at least.]

[...It's difficult to consider his ten years separate from the Yamainu. His ten years have been the Yamainu. But in a way...it's true there have been things he didn't want to talk about.

The way Iwakura has gone downhill. The way the Yamainu became an unwitting tool for a corrupt government. The way that it became so easy to heap abuse on them as a group.

He held his head high nonetheless, because this was his master's creation, but still... He takes a sip of his tea, musing on that.]

Most of it you can imagine, or have already heard. Working with the Yamainu and the government has been all there is of note.

[It's not a lie, it's just...more simply stated.]

[ . . . ]

Do I need to get another bottle of sake to get you to open up to me or what?

[He gets Sousei being tight-lipped, he does. But he already knows that there have been things that are off. The fact that he's part of an experiment that is being administered by the government is a pretty big tip off.]

Knowing what is of note doesn't tell me anything about how you're dealing with it or how you feel, you know....

[And as much as he does care about the state of the government and the state of Japan, he's also unfathomably more interested in the state of his partner.]

I'm not drinking with you again.

[That's a pretty immediate response...though a moment later, he sets his tea down, considering, fingers still wrapped around the glass that isn't really very familiar at all, despite their best efforts.

But he's always been rather bad at discussing this sort of thing. Tight-lipped, not particularly emotional, and the captain--these weren't things he was supposed to talk about. But this is Tenka, and... that's different. His partner, the person who would likely understand the most. The person who has the same stake in the Yamainu, even if he's no longer a part of it.

He drops his gaze to that tea.]

... I won't say it has been easy. [Keeping the Yamainu together after they were rocked that badly by that tragedy, and then Tenka's leaving... and this nonsense with the government.

But he really doesn't have any interest in making Tenka feel any guiltier than he already does by things they've already discussed.] But I accepted that when I took on the task. [So whatever followed was just...something he had to accept.]

Edited 2014-12-06 01:05 (UTC)

It's fun to drink with me!

[Nah, it just got really gay.

Though honestly Tenka just listens to that, taking a moment of actual quiet to really considering it. No, it hasn't been easy but... well, from what he saw, everyone seems to be doing fine. They tell him that the Yamainu has changed, but he's seen them now. Kiiko's all grown and goes on bodyguard missions where she's suited to enjoy a higher class lifestyle. Inukai and Shi haven't been deterred and there has to be some reason why Soramaru chose to run after Sousei for instruction.

As for Sousei himself... well, Tenka's mostly only seen a change for the better. He's so much more driven now and even though Tenka does feel bad for putting unnecessary weight on his partner... he also thinks that the Yamainu are so solid together that he's proud just watching them.

So he just chuckles quietly after a moment.]

Doesn't mean much from me, but I think the Yamainu's in good hands with you, Sousei.

[He doesn't think Tenka entirely understands the situation even now--but then, he doesn't exactly expect him to either. It wouldn't be fair, when Sousei hasn't said a word about it. About the times Iwakura threw a book at his head, or threw him out of his office. About the times the Yamainu was nearly disbanded because of a wrong word or move. About hearing of Takamine being nearly killed, or leaving the Yamainu to face a massive force there's no way they could handle--all because they believed him best to face the Orochi.

He knows it's not fair to keep that to himself when Tenka has finally opened up to him.

But he wouldn't even know where to start.

So instead, for now, he takes Tenka's words for what they are, inclining his head in response and taking a deep breath. Because now, the Yamainu are his as much as they are Tenka's and Taiko's. And surely...the means something.]

...Thank you.

Nobody here has given up. That is what allows us to continue forward with our heads held high.

[It's enough to get him to laugh. Because stuff like that - it makes him really happy. The world has thrown so much at all of them, not just Tenka himself, but undoubtedly the Yamainu too. But the spirit of not giving up that runs through the veins of his father's squad... It's really something that brings Tenka a lot of happiness.]

Of course. The entire squad's stubborn. Probably picked it up from their captain-

[Just saying.

But then he's tilting his head and... well, this is Tenka. So he doesn't really hesitate to keep pressing-]

What else?

[Ten years, Sousei. You can tell him it hasn't been easy and that you'll keep moving forward even though it's difficult, but he's not going to be satisfied with that answer. It's just a little bit really vague.]

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