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This is Abe no Sousei. Leave your request promptly.

Thank you.

[ voice | video | text | action ]

Don't concern yourself with that. I don't require you to defend my honor.

[All jokes aside, he is plenty capable of doing that himself, thanks.]

... Ah, right. I suppose it will not be too much trouble, so long as it is not for an indefinite amount of time.

You somewhat needed it defended but alright.

[ ok grumpypants, whatever. ]

He's mostly self-sustainable, you know. Garrett's a wardog, he's probably seen more battles than you.

I do not.

[what a childish fight and yet he can't help but pick it anyway!!!]

... And the number of fights he has seen has nothing to do with his general manners.

Sure do.

[ hawke is 100% just keeping it going just to see how long sousei lasts. she's the worst person. ]

I don't appreciate the assumption that my dog is without manners. He is incredibly polite! As polite as myself, even!

How do you figure that?

[Fisticuffs at dawn!!!]

Well, I had been assuming so because your manners are terrible, so that is not confidence-inspiring.

You have a suspicious lack of ego that offends my sensibilities. Someone must step in.

[ she'll have the ego OF TWO PEOPLE if she must. ]

My manners are precisely what they should be depending on the precise need for them at the time. Garrett is quite the same, of course.

My-- what? [??? He was not expecting that at all.] What are you talking about?

[Sorry, we'll come back to the manners thing in a second]

Your ego, serah. Feel free to correct me if you must, [ which, lol. ] but you hardly ever seem particularly bothered by any attacks to it. It's so infuriating! You wouldn't last a day in Kirkwall, I'm sure of it.

I have no idea what you're talking about. I have more than enough of an ego.

[???]

You have no idea what you're talking about.

And if I were to tell you that your hair made you look like a twelve year old boy, trying to be impressive for his mother...?

[ hawke pls ]

[hawke...???]

My hair has nothing to do with anything, and if you're trying to rile me up with it, it isn't going to work.

And how you carry yourself! My, it's as if you have the Maker himself shoving a staff -- well, somewhere inappropriate surely.

[ hawke stop ]

[There's a slow, deliberate pause.]

...You are doing this on purpose. Do you have something of use to say? I'm going to hang up otherwise.

[ a very bored sigh here ]

You could have at least insulted me back.

Well, now I am definitely not going to insult you, if that would only make you feel better about the entire situation.

I am not your source of entertainment.

[ and then a dismissive noise! ]

Of course you're not, you're my friend.

[ simple as that, sousei. how sweet. ]

And my friends spend most of their time insulting me.

[ and now, not so sweet. ]

We are not friends.

[IMMEDIATELY.

Yes, nailed it.]

[ completely unfazed here ]

Oh, a one-sided friendship. Some would call that suitable for me.

We are acquaintances. Sparring partners, perhaps.

[Why does he even feel the need to justify this....]

Ohh, how tragic it is for me. To be without friends, who I can call such!

[ you're being incredibly defensive, sousei. ]

I'll settle for acquaintances then.

[He's an incredibly defensive person.]

...Acquaintances is fitting enough.

[Sure, Sousei, sure.]

Now, is that all you wanted from me? When will you be dropping off your dog?

Oh, that's about it. You needn't worry -- he'll find you. I do appreciate the favor, serah!

[ and she'll just. leave it like that and immediately hang up. oh hawke. ]

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