[He did drag his feet, enough that Sousei was considering texting him again...but there he finally is, and Sousei frowns at the sigh and the whine that grates on his nerves--and sets the cups on the table with a thud.
Sit.]
Yes.
[Quite frankly and shortly. He sure doesn't look happy.
[ . . . you couldn't just let him finish his drink, could you. Regardless, Tenka finishes his incredibly long sip then and sighs as he places down his own cup. He straightens his posture, squaring his shoulders as he faces a topic that will most likely lead to his partner getting mad at him.]
You saw the state I was in when we got here.
[Still a little scaly, ready to collapse at any second, weak without medicine.]
According to the doctors, I was at my limit with the Orochi medicine. I could've snapped at any second.
[Did snap a few times, underground and chained against the wall, held down by multiple people all at once. But there are still things that Sousei doesn't need to know, Tenka thinks.]
[The word is said flatly, no intonation whatsoever, and shortly. Snapped...as the orochi. Snapped in a way that would require that someone was on standby to kill him?
That's all Sousei says.
Because he doesn't like the conclusions he's drawing, and he's still willing to give Tenka the chance to tell him that that's not the case (even as he has the sinking feeling it is).]
[Tenka doesn't have much to say in response to that.
He remembers his vision clouding over, already injuring the people who were trying to examine him further. But when they let him out, he could still walk in the daylight and help people. So he kept taking the medicine, because just staying in an underground prison waiting only for the next time he'd be on the examination table-
[They'd gone back to the pattern of being partners, exploring things about this world and just coexisting together seamlessly, that Tenka had almost forgotten that whenever he sees Sousei go numb like this, it's always his fault.
What a reminder.
Still though, he just sighs because he doesn't think this is a sad story, even now. What would he have done without the Orochi medicine? He wouldn't have been able to take care of his brothers or even let the Yamainu abandon him without remorse - he wouldn't have been able to help anyone.
So he just reaches across the table and waves a hand in front of Sousei's face, head tilting slightly.]
[He hears the "for now", even if Tenka doesn't intend for him to. Because he's done his research too. He's been working really hard to come up with a way to save Soramaru. He asked Kiiko to look into the wonder drug--and he knows a lot about that as well.
The hand in front of his face gets him to glance at Tenka properly, but...his expression just goes a little flatter.]
You are. And you will stay that way. [If it's the last thing he does--he'll make sure Tenka is still Tenka, in the end.]
[The fact that Sousei's expression doesn't look any more at ease is something that bothers Tenka. On his face, it might read to others as annoyance but this is nothing but concern. So he snaps his fingers in front of Sousei's face, trying to get his attention again by being annoying. That tends to work.]
I will.
[He'll live as a Kumou until the end. He will be okay until the end. He tilts his head.]
That's harsh, isn't it? But it's the truth. He can't believe that Tenka's not going to just go get himself killed again--this time by mistakes made years ago. He can't be certain that Tenka isn't going to disappear from his life.
Because he's not happier, and platitudes here are not going to make him happier.
But he just closes his eyes for a moment, and then lifts his chin.]
I will reserve the right to celebrate when it is apt, and not a moment sooner. [When the Orochi is dead, and when Soramaru is safe, and when Tenka is still alive then--
[He hears the words that come out of Sousei's mouth and rearranges them into something else that he thinks is closer to the truth: Will you still be alright when the battle is over?
The funny thing is that Tenka doesn't know. He tilts his head before shaking it and his left hand reaches out for the tea cup that he had set down. Without the medicine, he wouldn't have even been able to do this much. This world knows it - there were packets of the medicine and its stabilizer waiting for him when he arrived in this apartment.
But he doesn't say that, instead choosing to take a drink.
[Of Sousei, anyway. Ten years they spent apart, and then Tenka died, and then he came back and all of these lies and tragic falsehoods were brought to light and now Tenka tells him to have faith in him?
Now, after all of this?
It's hard. He has no guarantees that Tenka won't disappear and shatter that flimsy faith again.]
Fine. [That was always going to be his answer, though; there had never been any other option.] I will put my faith in those words. In that title.
[ . . . It's a cutting answer, whether Sousei intended it to be or not. The surprise shows on Tenka's face, though he's come to have enough self-control around Sousei by now to keep the hurt from seeping through. Is it really that hard to believe in him?
Soramaru and Chuutarou had always believed in him entirely, but they were his little brothers and Tenka would do everything in his power to protect and guide them. Shirasu never truly questioned him when it counted either, but what did that mean when now apparently Shirasu betrayed their family and therefore Tenka? But Sousei is his partner, the one who he stands with on equal footing and can give Tenka the most direct and honest opinion possible. And that answer is that it's hard to believe in him.
Well, Tenka supposes he hasn't given him much reason to - ten years of separation and unhappy reunions taken into account.
Ah, what a sad soul he is, to have his own partner doubt him. But that's a negative well of emotion, something the Orochi would feast on, and isn't that exactly what Tenka is trying to avoid?
So his own personal brand of medicine shines through as he manages a laugh, weak as it is but he's never really allowed himself to be devoid of hope and energy. That's when he would truly lose, after all.
In exchange for Sousei's faith in him, Tenka will trade something else in exchange. A simple admittance.]
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[...]
he saw it recently in the hands of another [Which would be...Sousei's ancestor, or thereabouts. Weird.]
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[seriously do the kumous just hoard everything from previous generations]
is your ancestor here too?
[because as far as tenka knows right now, hirari just has.... amnesia....]
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possibly. [That's hella vague, but...he's not entirely sure.]
i thought he was a police officer, but apparently his name is Abe no Hirari
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NO HE'S SUPPOSED TO KILL ME
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what
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are you cheating on his death pact with another Abe???]what are you talking about
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stop making this gay]long story
can i tell you when i find you again
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it's just true okaythere's a pause at that, though, before finally the text comes through--]
fine. we'll meet at the apartment.
[since there's no guarantee they're even in the same virtual world...]
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[And that's that. Normally Tenka doesn't respond with short messages like that, but he's honestly not looking forward to this conversation.
Eventually though, he makes it back to their place and siiiiiighs.]
Soouuuseeeiiiii, is there tea?
[He's assuming if he dragged his feet to get back, which he did, Sousei probably got there first.]
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Sit.]
Yes.
[Quite frankly and shortly. He sure doesn't look happy.
Now sit and talk.]
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But now Tenka is sitting.
And taking the tea and nodding his thanks.
And sipping.
And sipping.
And sipping.
Watch him attempt to drain the cup before he starts talking.]
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[He's not messing around here, okay. He sets his own glass down firmly, meeting Tenka's eyes.]
What were you talking about before?
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You saw the state I was in when we got here.
[Still a little scaly, ready to collapse at any second, weak without medicine.]
According to the doctors, I was at my limit with the Orochi medicine. I could've snapped at any second.
[Did snap a few times, underground and chained against the wall, held down by multiple people all at once. But there are still things that Sousei doesn't need to know, Tenka thinks.]
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[The word is said flatly, no intonation whatsoever, and shortly. Snapped...as the orochi. Snapped in a way that would require that someone was on standby to kill him?
That's all Sousei says.
Because he doesn't like the conclusions he's drawing, and he's still willing to give Tenka the chance to tell him that that's not the case (even as he has the sinking feeling it is).]
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He remembers his vision clouding over, already injuring the people who were trying to examine him further. But when they let him out, he could still walk in the daylight and help people. So he kept taking the medicine, because just staying in an underground prison waiting only for the next time he'd be on the examination table-
That wasn't the life he wanted.
So he doesn't say anything.
He just smiles weakly.
He really didn't want to talk about this at all.]
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Humanity's enemy.
All due to these experiments, all because of a corrupt official using these disgusting things to his own ends.
Sousei's silent for a long moment, hands clenched into fists on his thighs, the only real acknowledgement about how upset he really is about this.]
... I see.
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What a reminder.
Still though, he just sighs because he doesn't think this is a sad story, even now. What would he have done without the Orochi medicine? He wouldn't have been able to take care of his brothers or even let the Yamainu abandon him without remorse - he wouldn't have been able to help anyone.
So he just reaches across the table and waves a hand in front of Sousei's face, head tilting slightly.]
Hey.
I'm still me.
I'm okay [
for] now.no subject
The hand in front of his face gets him to glance at Tenka properly, but...his expression just goes a little flatter.]
You are. And you will stay that way. [If it's the last thing he does--he'll make sure Tenka is still Tenka, in the end.]
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I will.
[He'll live as a Kumou until the end. He will be okay until the end. He tilts his head.]
... So why don't you look any happier about it?
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That's harsh, isn't it? But it's the truth. He can't believe that Tenka's not going to just go get himself killed again--this time by mistakes made years ago. He can't be certain that Tenka isn't going to disappear from his life.
Because he's not happier, and platitudes here are not going to make him happier.
But he just closes his eyes for a moment, and then lifts his chin.]
I will reserve the right to celebrate when it is apt, and not a moment sooner. [When the Orochi is dead, and when Soramaru is safe, and when Tenka is still alive then--
Then he'll look happier.]
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The funny thing is that Tenka doesn't know. He tilts his head before shaking it and his left hand reaches out for the tea cup that he had set down. Without the medicine, he wouldn't have even been able to do this much. This world knows it - there were packets of the medicine and its stabilizer waiting for him when he arrived in this apartment.
But he doesn't say that, instead choosing to take a drink.
Then he snorts and breaks out into a grin.]
Have a little faith in me, partner.
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[Of Sousei, anyway. Ten years they spent apart, and then Tenka died, and then he came back and all of these lies and tragic falsehoods were brought to light and now Tenka tells him to have faith in him?
Now, after all of this?
It's hard. He has no guarantees that Tenka won't disappear and shatter that flimsy faith again.]
Fine. [That was always going to be his answer, though; there had never been any other option.] I will put my faith in those words. In that title.
[In Tenka--again.]
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Soramaru and Chuutarou had always believed in him entirely, but they were his little brothers and Tenka would do everything in his power to protect and guide them. Shirasu never truly questioned him when it counted either, but what did that mean when now apparently Shirasu betrayed their family and therefore Tenka? But Sousei is his partner, the one who he stands with on equal footing and can give Tenka the most direct and honest opinion possible. And that answer is that it's hard to believe in him.
Well, Tenka supposes he hasn't given him much reason to - ten years of separation and unhappy reunions taken into account.
Ah, what a sad soul he is, to have his own partner doubt him. But that's a negative well of emotion, something the Orochi would feast on, and isn't that exactly what Tenka is trying to avoid?
So his own personal brand of medicine shines through as he manages a laugh, weak as it is but he's never really allowed himself to be devoid of hope and energy. That's when he would truly lose, after all.
In exchange for Sousei's faith in him, Tenka will trade something else in exchange. A simple admittance.]
I still don't want to die, Sousei.
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